If you didn’t already love Beyonce, I am almost certain after watching her HBO documentary last night, you do now. She is as real as they get, and when you take away the money and the fame, she’s just like us. She gets her feelings hurt, she gets scared, she cries, she feels pressure.
“Life Is But a Dream” is an autobiographical film, in which Bey both starred in and produced. We got a behind the scenes look at her life, which, up until now, she has kept extremely private. She showed us her relationship with Jay-Z, her loving yet difficult relationship with her father, her heartbreaking miscarriage and the joys of being a mom. She shared with us the struggles she has everyday balancing her demanding career and her personal life. And, we got to see Blue Ivy, who looks just like her daddy & is just adorable!!!
Here are a few excerpts:
On wanting to manage herself:
At some point you need your support system. You need your family. You’re trying to have an everyday convo with your parents, and you have to talk about schedules. I needed boundaries. And I think my dad needed boundaries. I needed a break. I needed my DAD.”
I’m feeling very empty because of the relationship with my dad. I’m so fragile at this point. And I feel like my soul has been tarnished. I feel like I had to move on and not work with my dad. And I don’t care if I don’t sell one record ever again. It’s bigger than the record. It’s bigger than the career.”
On her miscarriage:
Two years ago I was pregnant for the first time. I heard the heartbeat. Something happens when you hear the heartbeat. You truly know there’s life inside you. I picked out names. I envisioned what my child looked like. I was feeling very maternal. My family was so excited. I flew back out NY to get my checkup. And no heartbeat. Literally, the week before, I went to the doctor and everything was fine. But there was no heartbeat. I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I’d ever written in my life and it was the first song I wrote for my album.”
On why she hid her pregnancy:
There’s no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you. But you have to make sure everything is ok. So I had to hide the best thing in my life. I was scared to make plans, but I went to the doctor who said ‘Listen, you have to let it go. You’re healthy and if this baby is supposed to be here, the baby is going to be here. Go do everything you’ve been doing and everything will be fine.”
On feeling Blue Ivy kick for the first time:
I felt the baby kick for the first time. It kicked 5 times! I’ve been waiting for that moment. Hopefully it’ll do it again so Jay can feel it.”
On giving birth to Blue:
I felt like God was giving me the chance to assist in a miracle. There’s something so relieving about life taking over you like that. You’re playing a part in a much bigger show. And that’s what life is….the greatest show on earth. My baby was born out of a conflict in my life. And that conflict had to be settled.”
We connected on a spiritual level. It’s just a coincidence that he’s also an artist. Hes taught me so much about being an artist. I, like a lot of women, give up so much. But he doesn’t….Having this baby made me love him more than I ever thought was possible. It’s every woman’s dream to feel this way about someone.”