EgyptSaidSo.com

A recent Chris Brown interview spawned the conversation today about taking second chances on people. He was explaining to Ryan Seacrest how he is a changed man. He says he had to learn humility and grow up a bit. He was 19 years old when he made the biggest mistake of his life with Rihanna. But now he’s hoping people forgive him, and let him grow and learn his lessons in life without holding it against him forever.

I personally believe in forgiveness. Resentment does more damage to the person holding in the hate, than to the person who wronged them. To forgive is to heal!

But don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t necessarily mean that we let cancerous people back into our life. I can love you and be happy for your change- from AFAR!

Let me ask you, have you given someone a second chance and regretted it? Or have you allowed a second chance, perhaps in a relationship, and it worked out great? Have you been divorced, remarried, and now you’re in heaven in your relationship? Or do you believe once a liar and cheat, always a liar and cheat?

Here’s what some of you said on Facebook:
Brent Whiting: Wow! A friend of mine asked the same question 2 days ago. I’ve given someone a second chance because humans make humanly mistakes and I’m not one to throw stones in a glass house. However, do it again and you’re cut from the team. Liars can’t be tolerated once they’ve never learned from their mistakes.

Michelle Shaw: Never in life would I give an ex ANY chance. I’m done with the lies, games and especially the cheating. Imma stock up on sum batteries and a sixteen inch…..

Nikki Thomas: No. Once you are grown you are responsible for your actions. A healthy adult doesn’t need multiple chances to treat you with respect.

Erik Smith: I’ve been in a situation of both circumstances and it was ugly. but it turned out for the best and I have changed, and when it happened to me I was the fool..

Chamaine Collazo: Yes! 2nd & 3rd chances too! If we pray for forgiveness we must be willing to forgive. The difference is in the level of commitment to the relationship & its dynamics. Example: I will forgive a liar, cheat or thief but will limit my interaction with them changing the dynamics of the relationship, or not!

Riley Inge: EVERYONE deserves a 2nd or however many chances it takes to get themselves right. That doesn’t necessarily mean it has to come from YOU!!!! But WE ALL are given GRACE & so I never waste time judging. I try UNDERSTANDING & forgiving.
 The first to APOLOGIZE is the bravest.

The first to FORGIVE is the strongest. The first to FORGET is the happiest.

So the letter begins…

“Egypt it’s just not enough of me to go around… and I can’t take it anymore. I have to cook, clean, work, pay the bills, go to parent teacher conferences, help take care of sick family, LOVE my husband, and deal with just about everything else. I feel like everyone wants me to be a SUPERWOMAN and I can’t!!”

She didn’t even bother to sign her name.

Probably too busy keeping up with her SUPERWOMAN life to do so.

Truth is, this letter represents millions of women across the U.S. like YOU and I, who give so much of ourselves everyday to the world, that WE have nothing left to give ourselves.

I found this email so timely because last night was the first time I cried in years out of frustration.

My grandfather passed away in October of 2012, and I don’t even remember crying at his funeral – even though it was the most tragic and difficult time in my adult life.

I was so busy making sure my grandmother and other members of my family were coping that I didn’t even take a moment to do a self check.

So after a turbulent two years, working two jobs, moving twice, and having a newborn, I finally sat still.

It’s true that SILENCE IS GOLDEN.

It was in that silence that I realized if I continued at the pace that I had been going, that I may not be alive to see my daughter grow up. Five to six hours sleep per night, no days off, no ME time is just not normal.

But why do so many of us sacrifice our bodies to keep up with this pace? WHY? Because women have long been the mule of society, carrying EVERYONE’s load on our shoulders.

We wear the motto: “If I don’t do it, who will?” We brag: “I’m an independent woman.” But really, we are adopting a ME LAST mentality, and it must stop.

WHAT ABOUT US?!

I’m truly worried about US ladies. Women are having heart attacks, strokes, and mental breakdowns at alarming rates, and earlier in our lives. This alone should send red flags that it’s time to SLOW IT DOWN.

WHAT ABOUT US? We can kill ourselves trying to be all things to all people. And then we are confronted with: “Well your momma and grandmama did it, so can you.”

NO! That’s not entirely true. We live in different times, with more complex societal pressures. They didn’t necessarily have to bring home the bacon AND FRY IT!

I asked women to sound off on Facebook and here are some of their sentiments:

La Shonda Foy Barksdale: I think that we as women are automatically expected to be able to do all and handle all with no problem; and while for the most part we are able to do so, at times it does become a bit overwhelming.

Sharon L. Bryant: Stress can kill!!! Ladies, we must take care of ourselves physically, mentally, spiritually!! We’re no good to others if we cannot be good to ourselves first!!

Carol Wallace: And ur so right! No one takes care of us.
We are the back bone we hold it down …sometimes I just have 2 stop and remind everyone that I am human as well, I have feelings as well ..and its like they all look at me like I am stupid.

Sonya Jackson Barlow: As women..and especially women of color..we have been taught to “Carry the LOAD”- take care of family, work a 9 to 5 and leap tall buildings with a single bound! Having depression, burnout or needing to take a time for yourself is not an option…We are expected to bend NOT break…but it’s time to recognize our health as we pursue our purpose!

Nikki Brown: So true..my childhood friend was just buried from a heart attack at the age of 35 on Wednesday.. she has a son that is only 15 years old.

I think it’s safe to say that SUPERWOMEN across the country are in a state of emergency.

I don’t know about you, but I am ready to retire this “S” on my chest, because it doesn’t come with any superhuman balancing power.

Truly what we are in need of is a SUPERMAN to pick up some of this slack. Can I get an “Amen!” and a high five?

* Drops the mic.

In life we will be confronted with many situations where we don’t totally fit in. We’ll look around and feel like the odd one out. We may question ourselves and wonder what is it about you that you don’t have that everyone else does…. That’s wrong!

The question you should be asking yourself is what is it about you that everyone else doesn’t have?

Always remember that you are one in a million!

No one on this planet can be you or do what you can do!

You were put on this earth to do some extraordinary things and as long as you keep trying to be like everyone else you will never accomplish them.

You were born to stand out.

You will never fit in.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to be a certain way. Be unique. Be what you feel.

Wouldn’t it be be a travesty to be born an original, only to become a copy?

Don’t be a copy. You are one in a million!

We’ve been told that all we need is food and water to survive. But I say, we need food water and FAITH!! Somewhere we forgot about our spiritual health.
We can move mountains with FAITH the size of a mustard seed. But we don’t believe we can, so we don’t even try. I know it can be hard to have FAITH when there are so many “doubt pushers” out there trying to steal our joy.
We all know a doubt pusher. Whenever you rise up with a positive thought, they’re the ones right there to tell you “NO, you can’t do it, it won’t work.” They place doubt in circumstances between us and GOD. But FAITH puts GOD between circumstances and US.
Do you know how to beat a doubt pusher? Become a “FAITH dealer.” Walk around with an S on your chest and a shield of empowerment. Continue to beat them by empowering others with positive truth.
Feed your FAITH and your fears will starve!!

xoxo
Egypt

My true purpose became clear on January 12th of this year! The minute the doctor held my baby girl up to my face and  our eyes met, I knew what the true meaning of unconditional love was. Kendall has been the ultimate joy of my life ever since. I can’t even remember what life was like before her. Some days I just stare and watch her drool while she sleeps. Thank you GOD for blessing me with the gift of motherhood. She is the motivating force behind all that I do. Mommy loves you Kendallbear <3

There is someone reading this today who is barely holding on. I don’t know who you are, but this message is for you.

The storms WILL come, but they also pass. Just like every other challenge you have faced, this TOO shall pass! It is always the darkest before dawn. We just gotta hold on and KNOW that better days are coming. The best thing about hitting our very bottom is that there is nowhere else to go but up!

When someone tells us that they are going “through” something, remind them that the key word is “through.” When we go through grief, struggles, pain, depression, know that to go “through” means we come out on the other side. And when we get there we are often STRONGER, WISER, AND MORE RESILIENT!

There is not a person among us who has not been tested. But when the Good LORD brings you to it – Rest assured HE will bring you “THROUGH” it!

xoxo- Egypt