Pilar Sanders, the estranged wife of former star athlete Deion Sanders, has been through a very public and bitter divorce battle the past couple of months. In an exclusive interview, the actress, model and businesswoman wanted to clear the air regarding the misconceptions surrouding their failed relationship in a very candid and revealing interview.
On the negativity surrounding her name:
Negative, only because now of the divorce and everything surrounding it. Most divorces aren’t happy occasions. Neither is mine. My divorce just happens to be with an ex pro baller (football and baseball) and is filled with abuse, lies, and part-time parenting. All I can do is be me. I’ve been honest, tried to be private and always been a good mother (putting my children first). Anything negative about me came from lies and or from those who don’t know me. But I can’t worry about that, all I can do is live my life the best way I can. I cannot worry about things that I can’t change or have no control over. Everyone is going to have an opinion whether it’s based on truth or lies, regardless, that’s life. My truth is my life whether it is accepted or not.”
On what she would have done differently in her life:
Hindsight is 20/20! That’s no lie. I would have definitely remained focused on my career a lot longer before getting married and taking a hiatus. I would’ve still had my babies, but I would also have Pilar. You know what I mean? I would be the successful actress, model, the savvy entrepreneur, then the wife and mother – in that order. Now I’m going backwards, back to my roots of acting and will finally utilize my savvy business skills for myself and not focus on building my partner. I’ve learned that we as women can’t stop doing ‘us’ for the sake of taking care of our husbands. As women, we are natural nurturers, we are known to put our stuff, our career and lives on the back burner to make sure that our men are “on point.” I wouldn’t do that again. I now know I have to do Pilar FIRST and everything else will fall into place.”
On being abused by Deion:
First and foremost, his status in the media never dictated to me on how he has or should have treated me. I loved Deion for who he was, not for WHAT he was. And when you’re in a situation you can’t see the forest for the trees – as they say. I didn’t realize it was abuse until going through this divorce. In the very beginning another woman who had a very similar experience opened my eyes and labeled it. I knew Deion was a very difficult and rude person at times, but I saw him treat everybody close to him like that. So I simply thought it was his personality. Sometimes he was very mean sometimes he was kind. His moods would drastically change if the wind blew a certain way. There was never any rhyme or reason with his mood swings, so after years of seeing and experiencing this type of behavior I just accepted it as him being him. So, I began to ignore it. When it became physical I had no choice but to defend myself and my children. I loved him and believed him EVERY single time he said he was sorry and wouldn’t do it again. I loved Deion and loved our family. Yes common sense tells you it’s abuse, but common sense isn’t always turned on, especially when you’ve been it in so long. I was in it for 13 and a half years, married and a few years before that.’
On her need for more publicity:
For what reason? For myself no, not at all. If it’s to help other women better themselves or boost their self esteem through my trials, tribulations, habits or secrets then sure.”
On what she wants to be known for:
For the amazing love I have for my babies, my family, women and people in general. For how I see life, love God and how my Health, Fitness and Beauty teachings help change the lives of children, women and families across the world.”
Wow! She was very upfront about a lot of things. Do you think Deion will have something to say in response? You can read the rest of her interview, including her thoughts on Stevie J, “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” and more over at Hello Beautiful.